Saturday 9 there in October 2010
There 
an excerpt from my new book which kindly by Shambhala Sun Space uploaded. The book is course Sex, Sin and Zen which now is in selected book stores everywhere.
you will find that the statement is followed by a discussion of my use of the term "sexual preferences". One reader took offense at it and said
" The term" sexual preference trivialized "the agony of what gays and lesbians often have to make with yourself and others about be honest with who they are. Many do not come so far and lose their lives. Others lose their lives by not tolerate murder from the hands of the psychopaths whose honesty. If sexual orientation would be a simple matter of preference and people could choose "to have no preference", as Brad suggests it, there would be no one to four times higher suicide rate among gay teens, compared to heterosexual teens. Most of these children are certainly not at peace with their "preferences" - and would, at this stage, probably choose differently if they had the strength. They have "preferences" with respect to the kind of clothing they wear and the music they hear and the movies they watch and depend on the locations of them, but sexual identity is moving at a level of higher complexity. The causes and conditions, as far as we understand it (which frankly does not go very far), including both biology and psychology, assessment and socialization. "
There is still much more to this than just talk including some comments from Rod Meade Sperry-releases of the exodus and has made it clear that I have the book does not represent the view that sexual orientation is only a matter of preference. But as you can Hop over and read the rest if you like. Here is my answer:
An interesting discussion! The word "preference" is unfortunate indeed. In the part of the book comes from the extract I tried the Buddhist idea of "preferences to avoid" to be considered. So I rode around on that word. I do not think anyone chooses to be homosexual rather than heterosexual as one chooses to order strawberry ice cream instead of vanilla. And Dennis is right, many appear to many people in our culture to think it was something like that.
One of the many interesting aspects of Zen practice for me personally, has been the discovery that there is an incredible diversity of thoughts and desires appear in my head when I stop again to work so much because I myself define herself. Among the many things I discovered was the fact that my own personal sexual orientation was not a hard and rigid thing. Since I am the kind of person I am, was the idea that I occasionally find men sexually attractive is not really a big shock. Some of the other things that I recognized I were seriously worrying. That I could feel myself attracted to men was not a big Thing, especially when compared to others. is
The point on which I would like to come here a little awkward, that sexual orientation - hetero, gay, bisexual, tranny, queer, etc. - I think only one of a large collection of things we use to be constantly our temporary perception of self-define and strengthen. Ultimately, everything is illusion, even if it is a useful temporary delusion. Some of it may even be so far true. But still it is not enough really approach the who we really are.
I am informed in the Zenschule in which we are taught no hard line to move between the ultimate and relative truth. The official line in Zen is that ultimate and relative truth are one and the same. Dennis is right in terms of magnitude between prefer the Ramones over Air Supply in comparison to one's sexual orientation. Nevertheless, as a Zen-convert only remains for me the point clear that everything is relative, no matter how real it seems. But the indisputable fact that I am a living person on planet earth, is again only a relative truth (and, as such, even an absolute truth). So this is a very big issue, far more so than the one he could ever meet in the comments of Shamhala Space blog.
However, I am ultimately still just as hetero as I ever was. As Dennis points, it's part of my personal karma. Regardless of what I have found through my practice, I can not just go through an act of will on the other side. In my own case I am happy that there is no social pressure to do so. It must be really cruel if the pressure is there.
But I think that I personally am much more comfortable with myself, because I was able to drop some of the hard holding on to my sexual identity - along with several other aspects of identity. I can imagine that there are many good people would do these things to discover in themselves. This applies in particular for straight people like me, I think. And here is why:
We all have to blindly meet their orientation with respect and dignity. That's for sure! I believe that the Buddhist practice may help to establish this in the number of people allowed them to identify how fluid identity - sexual or otherwise - really is.
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re self-promotion for two events that I next week in New York do. The first is a Büchersignieren is on the clock by 19 15th Interdependence Project in October in the East Village . Be d a!
The next two days, 16th and 17 October, we make a two-day retreat without accommodation in the Interdependence Project in the East Village . This is an excellent opportunity for all those who want even get a real taste of zazen. This retreat is open for beginners, experience is not necessary. It will focus on the shikantaza zazen-style, as taught by Dogen Zenji. There is no accommodation which means that you get out and after you can make a nice night in Manhattan, instead of being cooped up with a bunch of Zen-bore.
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And I would like to thank all who have exercised the "Donate" button use. Every little bit helps a lot. Thank you!
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